A Reminder

I'v actually written and rewritten this post a couple of times...I just can’t get the words right, can’t pin down how best to describe things. How do you put into words what it's like to watch the people you love hurting?

I'm a fixer…but this is something that is just broken and can’t be fixed. Only time can make it a little better for all of us.

Grieving is a sticky process. It has the power to consume you or stop you in your tracks.

It's been nearly 2 months since my mom passed away and although sometimes time seems to stand still, so much has changed and keeps changing. Nothing about this is constant other than the memory of her. I look at my family, my dad especially and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. 

Ok I’m just going to say it…that poor, poor man! The thought of what he is going through alone is enough to send me into complete panic…somedays I have to stop myself from thinking about it for fear of it swallowing me whole.

There is no doubt in my mind that for him it is the hardest…of course it is. Yet at the same time I have seen how this tragedy has effect so many more people. 

At the end of the day she wasn’t just a mom to me, she was someones wife, someones daughter, someones sister, someones granny, someones aunt and someones friend. And all of these people are trying to find their way to deal with their loss, their hurt and the empty space that is left where she once was. I count myself very fortunate that even though we are all saddened and feel hurt without her, I have the most amazing support system, the same support system that she valued so much. It is my family and friends that keep me afloat during times when I feel that air isn’t enough to breathe. There are actually no words I could say that fully describe how much they mean to me. What I’m trying to say is, yes this sucks and it hurts, it hurts so very much. But take courage,lean on each other and hang in there just a little while longer because this matters.